Such Friendships are hard to find in today's world. Read on . . .
After 30 years of four-times-a-day phone calls, Oprah and Gayle sit down with O, The Oprah Magazine's columnist Lisa Kogan for a startlingly honest chat—about their friendship, working relationship and those tabloid rumors (who could forget that night in the Bahamas? Not the bellboy).
Lisa: Well, let's get right to it! Every time I tell somebody, "I'm interviewing Oprah and Gayle," the response is always the same: "Oh. [Long pause] Are they…you know…together?"
Oprah: You're kidding. People are still saying that?
Lisa: Every single person. And I say, "No, I don't think so." And invariably, they respond with something like "You know, you're very naive."
Oprah: I understand why people think we're gay. There isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women. So I get why people have to label it—how can you be this close without it being sexual? How else can you explain a level of intimacy where someone always loves you, always respects you, admires you?
Gayle: Wants the best for you.
Oprah: Wants the best for you in every single situation of your life. Lifts you up. Supports you. Always! That's an incredibly rare thing between even the closest of friends.
Gayle: The truth is, if we were gay, we would so tell you, because there's nothing wrong with being gay.
Oprah: Yeah. But for people to still be asking the question, when I've said it and said it and said it, that means they think I'm a liar. And that bothers me.
Gayle: Well, particularly given how open you've been about everything else in your life.Oprah: I've told nearly everything there is to tell. All my stuff is out there. People think I'd be so ashamed of being gay that I wouldn't admit it? Oh, please.
Lisa: Do the rumors bother you, Gayle?
Gayle: Not anymore, but I used to say, "Oprah, you have to do something. It's hard enough for me to get a date on a Saturday night. You've got to go on the air and stop it!" And then you realize you really can't stop it. And, you know, somebody made a good point: "Well, every time we see you, you're together," which is true.
Oprah: We were just down in the Bahamas—I was giving a wedding for my niece there. And we're having this big party in my suite. And who comes walking in—Gayle: With my suitcase.
Oprah: With her suitcase! And I knew what all the waiters, what everybody was thinking: They're gay. This proves it. Has to be, because Stedman isn't around.
Gayle: And sure enough, the tabloid headline was "Oprah's Hideaway with Gal Pal." Ridiculous. But that said, I have to admit, if Oprah were a man, I would marry her.
Lisa: Gayle, when you started at the magazine, did either of you worry that working for Oprah might change the dynamic between you?
Gayle: I wasn't worried. I don't think Oprah was, either. But people did say, "Oh God, you should never work with your friend."
Oprah: But that's how I know people don't understand this relationship, because other people's definition of "friend" isn't what ours is. Just the other day, I was doing a show about when your best friend is sleeping with your husband. The ultimate betrayal. Well, that is not possible in this relationship.
Gayle: What I know for sure: I will never sleep with Stedman.Oprah: What did you used to say, "If you ever find me in the bed with Stedman—"
Gayle: "Don't even be mad. Just scoop me up and get me to a hospital, because you will know I'm very ill."Oprah: "Carry me tenderly out the door." [Laughter]
Gayle: So people ask, "But how can you work for a friend?" I say it's because I know that the magazine is called O. The bottom line is somebody has to have the final word. Oprah's not right all the time, but her record is pretty damn good. That's not to say you can't disagree.
Oprah: That's why Gayle's so great for me at the magazine—she's going to have almost exactly the same opinion that I do. But when she doesn't agree, she'll fight for her opinion as though there were a G on that magazine. We have "disagree," and we have "strongly disagree." If Gayle strongly, strongly feels something about somebody—
Gayle: It gives her pause.
Oprah: It gives me pause, because she's been my—she's apple pie and Chevrolet. She loves everybody. So if there's somebody she doesn't like, that will get my attention because she's truly everybody's friend—far friendlier than I am. I would not call myself a friendly person.
Gayle: I'm very social.Oprah: I'm not social. Nor am I all that friendly.
Gayle: All Oprah needs is a good book. My only request when she's building any house is, "Could I please have a TV in my bedroom?" She goes, "You're the only one who complains about not having a TV in the bedroom." I go, "Well, everybody thinks it, they just don't want to say it to you."
Oprah: I don't have TVs in any bedroom except Gayle's. In my house, there's a Gayle wing.
Gayle: I don't want to offend her, but I'm never afraid to be truthful with her.
Oprah: I remember once when Gayle came to my house: I was already making a lot of money, and she was making not a lot of money. And we discovered I had $422 in my pocket.Gayle: $482.
Oprah: Okay, $482.Gayle: But who's counting?Oprah: I had $482 just sort of stuck into a coat pocket.
Gayle: In your pants pocket. You know how sometimes you just find a five? Or a 20 is like, whoo! She pulls out $482.
Oprah: Okay, you tell the story.
Gayle: In 20s. And I'd gotten to Chicago on a Super Saver ticket; you know, back when you had to buy 30 days in advance for a decent price. She was living in Chicago, and I was married, and we had scrimped—I remember that once Billy and I didn't have $10 to go to the movies. He was in law school and I was the only one working. So for her to pull out $482 was like, wow! She goes, "God, where'd this come from? You want it?" And I went, "Oh, no. No. I'm good. I'm fine." But I'm thinking, God, that would pay the light bill, the phone bill, the gas bill. And she just puts it back. It's probably still in that damn pocket. She was just extending a gesture, just being nice: "Oh, you want it?"
Oprah: But years later, she said, "You remember that time you pulled out the $482?"
Gayle: I said, "I wanted that money so bad!"
Oprah: "I needed that money so bad, but I wouldn't take it." You know what that's like? That is incredible for somebody like me who lives in a world where everybody wants a piece of you. I mean, people feel they deserve a piece of you. Strangers think that.
Gayle: Now I happily accept all gifts. [Laughter] No, but I just wouldn't have felt right.
Oprah: She's never asked me for a dime. There is a level of mutual respect that comes from being with somebody you know doesn't want anything from you but you. There will never be an ulterior motive. I have to say, this would have been a much different relationship had that ever happened. Not that I wouldn't have done it, but in order to have a real friendship, you have to be equals.
Gayle: That's not necessarily financial equals.
Oprah: No, equal in respect. I can't put myself in a position where I need you to do things for me, or expect you to do things for me with any kind of strings attached.
Gayle: Yeah, I never feel lesser than, or one down. Never
-Oprah.com
http://www.oprah.com/article/relationships/omag_200608_ocut/1
